I have no idea where to put this. It’s just more or less a jumbled summery of the month and a some rants.

They need a pill for PCOS. I haven’t been feeling well at all. Just when I think my hormones are stable, here comes another fluctuation.

Everyone is getting sick of my 9 days of PMS every month. I’m getting sick of the horrible pain that follows those 9 days.

My temper is horrible lately, everything seems to offend me, and I’m exhausted all the time.

I’m weening myself off caffeine again because I’ve gone back to using it as a crutch.

I jumped on the scale for the first time in nearly a month to see still no changes. All that work; I could live with the number staying the same if I could just see changes in the mirror or my clothes but there’s nothing. This is frustrating as hell but it’s not like I have an alternative.

I haven’t been losing weight but at least I’m not gaining. Then again I don’t feel like I’ve put in everything that I could have, even though I know I did the best I could do at the time.

I no longer have a job and therefore can’t afford to see the only specialist in town. Everything I have saved must be put toward bills.

I would love to go to a different doctor, a good doctor who will listen, and have them run a full thyroid test on me. Rather than waste my money and only do a portion of the tests before informing me that there’s nothing wrong.

The only thing I can do is keep working hard and just remind myself that at least I’m not gaining. It would be so easy to fall back into old habits and end up at 300 pounds or higher. Then I’d really remember what being sick really felt like. 

@3 months ago
#personal